- NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - Hier 06:10

Celebrating a seven-year-sober friend

On June 19, as I chatted on the phone with a friend, Kimberly (not her real name), she said: “Today is the seventh-year anniversary of my sobriety.” Her last ever alcoholic drink was on June 19, 2018. Acknowledging that her story might help others who have an alcohol problem, she allowed me to interview her so that I could write this article. “Until the day I die, I am an alcoholic,” Kimberly said. “I am one drink away from returning to that life. If I have a drink today, my seven years of sobriety will go down the drain. I will want another and another and another, until I get high and tired enough to not drink anymore.” Kimberly began drinking alcohol socially at university. Within five years, when buying drinks for herself and friends became very expensive, she economised by buying by the bottle — mainly rum, vodka, Johnnie Walker or a Bajan rum — and drinking alone at home to get high. On that ten-year alcoholic journey, shame, as well as the desire to protect those around her from knowing the extent of her substance abuse, she kept the habit a secret. She drank carefully in people’s company, but liberally, at night while they slept. “I disposed of my bottles in very creative ways — wrapping them in newspaper so they did not clink in the bin . . . disposing of them in public mall bins . . . hiding them in my car . . .” Alcohol was her coping mechanism and escape from a relationship in which she felt stuck, with no apparent way out, as she had no idea how to ask her then live-in partner to leave. The facade finally shattered when she returned home after a night of drinking with someone with whom she was having an affair. “I slept in my car so as not to have an argument with my partner. However, she came out early in the morning, knocked on the car window, a fight ensued and my parents got involved.” [caption id="attachment_1162203" align="aligncenter" width="541"] -[/caption] With her distressed mother telling her that she needed professional help, something snapped in Kimberly; she saw only two options: to go to rehab or kill herself. “Everything was falling apart — finances, emotions, I was living a promiscuous life and having to drink every day. I used to pray to God to take this away from me.” Googling for help, she discovered an all-female rehabilitation centre in Palo Seco. In the embrace of their disciplined and structured programme for repairing one’s body, mind and spirit, Kimberly spent four life-changing months. “I went into rehab with the hope that they would teach me how to control my drinking. But the key is that once you have to try to control, you have already lost control. When I got there, I was told that I can never have another drink in my life.” Today, Kimberly is a different woman, able to process issues and life challenges in a healthy way, through skills acquired in rehab and ongoing support available through Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. “It is important for people to know there are support groups. I go to three meetings a week online.” Online meetings are available 24/7 all over the world via Zoom and face to face throughout TT on set days and times and at different locations. “They recommend that you get a sponsor . . . someone you can reach out to at any time. Also, when you attend meetings online you make friends you can call for support. I need to remember that I am always an alcoholic, and must attend these meetings.” Kimberly ’s journey from the harrowing pits of alcohol abuse has brought her a greater awareness of a Higher Power. “It was the only voice of reasoning,” she said. “It was the only Presence that could help me at one o’clock in the morning when I could not sleep. I would be on my knees or sitting on the edge of the bed, heartily praying for help to survive. The state I was in, there is no way that I could have done it on my own. It had to be Higher Power intervention. I am always in gratitude now.” Every morning, Kimberly’s first waking words are: “Thank you Lord for sobriety.” She assures anyone with an alcohol addiction that help is available: “Reach out to any AA online.” That moment of connecting could be a lifesaver.   The post Celebrating a seven-year-sober friend appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.