- NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 20/Aug 06:43

Counting Ziya’s small victories

AFTER SIX weeks of training on average 12 hours a week, we are finally in Tobago for the 7th Carifta Triathlon, Mixed Relay, and Aquathlon Championship, hosted by the TT Triathlon Federation, and happening on August 23 and 24. There are 34 children on the TT team, and the majority have been up before dawn and swimming, riding or running by 5 o'clock most mornings as well as back at it again on afternoons. They have had the benefit of a team of specialised coaches who’ve come in on weekends to tweak their skills and improve their times; helping our children to grow out of commitment to sports in our nation. Just under two years in sports, Zi is still beginning to understand so much about technique, endurance, and mindset. Her climb has been short, but steep. It’s also been a learning experience for parents new to sports like me. Triathlon parents, like most sports parents, don’t believe you are trying your best unless you are truly defeating every limitation. If you don’t look like you are suffering, they are convinced you are not giving it your all. Of course, the best athletes make it look easy, making times ahead of the rest and finishing strong. I come from an arts background. I’m all about poetry. My idea of childhood is adventures, unstructured creative time, and lazy days playing at the beach. This life is not that. This is pressure. It’s gruelling. All the time I feel sorry for Ziya, but somehow she has thrived. Indeed, better than thrived. Getting up at 6 am seems late for her now. Not being challenged enough makes her come home with energy to spare. She laughs about that time she was sobbing while swimming or dying with exhaustion from hill repeats on her bike or eroding old fears because she had no choice but survive each practice. We all have to overcome doubts, push past our weaknesses, and develop resilience and strength. These children get a head start, learning to keep going through the hard parts of life, gathering earlier rather than later the skills they need to get through. I admire them, truly. Would I have wanted to do this as a teenager? No way. Might I have made different decisions in life if I had? Possibly. Will Ziya be able to manage life’s pains better because she knows she can do more than she ever imagined? Definitely. As a parent of a neurodiverse athlete, there are a huge range of considerations that, on the one hand appear to be the same for all children – for they all have their idiosyncrasies, but on the other hand should be recognised as special needs. For example, autistic children may require more quiet and rest or a home space where they don’t have to "mask." They are putting out more effort all the time just to leave the house, manage sensory stimulation, navigate social cues, and keep up with neurotypical expectations, including in relation to mind-body connection. People think all neurodiverse children are geniuses or, alternatively, are no different from others unless they have a visible disability. However, neither is true. What is true is that some can do as well as neurotypical children, whether in school or sports, depending on the quality of support they receive. So, it’s not about lower expectations or assuming they will always be weaker or slower. Rather, it’s about targeting the specific challenges they face so that they can be as good as those children without those challenges. But, you have to believe that they can be as good and work out how to get them there. As a parent, whether it’s with coaches or teachers, it is a balancing act. Children gain so much from those who help them grow. At the same time, no one will invest time and thought into your child the way that you will. No one will understand the faint line between protecting and pushing. No one will pay attention to the nuances that work or don’t in the way you do. You have to be there as advocate until they learn to do it for themselves even to those most on their side. Yes, there are troubles in the world about which I write, but this here is my whole heart and life. Parents reading this understand. Race day will be another moment in her young triathlete journey. Meanwhile, I steadily count her surer steps and small, but hard-earned victories. Diary of a mothering worker Entry 562 motheringworker@gmail.com The post Counting Ziya’s small victories appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.