- NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 28/Aug 08:44

Ache’s agony, a lesson for pageant hopefuls

THE EDITOR: In shock, I listened to a visibly distraught Ache Abrahams tell her story of ill-treatment and the anguish she endured. Her account of abuse came during the period of her winning the Miss World T&T title in September 2022 and when she left TT for India to represent our country at the international pageant in March 2024. Ache portrayed a dejected version of herself in her poignant video. She spoke of callous comments and chastisements that were levelled at her as she fought to hold back tears to regain control of her emotions several times during the 18-minute-long video. The hurt that was evident in her voice and etched on her face was real and disturbing. Determined to speak her truth, she told of enduring body shaming and unfair criticisms that pointed out she was not working – malicious intent seemed obvious to her. Ache confided she was emotionally, mentally and financially drained. Ironically, she’s a mental health care advocate who conveyed that her mental health was harshly impacted. I wondered how this revelation could be real as I reflected on her charming persona while cameras rolled in India at the pageant’s events, on the night of Miss Czech Republic’s crowning and post-coronation night. There was no indication that she harboured despair beyond her smiles, stellar performances and eventual third place finish. Even at the airport when Ache returned to TT to a rousing welcome, she appeared to be happy as a lark. While Ache’s account of her alleged abuse avoided naming the perpetrator/s she said enough for her audience to surmise where it originated. After her expose the local franchise for Miss World issued a somewhat generic statement that basically acknowledged Ache’s feelings, emphasised empowerment values and “Beauty With a Purpose” support. Moreover, the pageant organisation recognised that each journey is unique and stressed its goal to support every member of its team. Notably, the organisation did not challenge or refute Ache’s feelings and instead stated that each journey is different. To many, this sounds like a subtle confirmation that Ache could have been pushed too hard over the 18-month period mentioned. Some of us would recall that Miss World Inc CEO Julia Morley postponed the pageant a couple times until 2023 was entirely skipped. Consequently, Miss World hopefuls around the world waited over 18 months before they could represent their country on the internal stage. That waiting time was unprecedented and may have negatively impacted on the tempers and psyche of certain team members of the local pageant organisation. Ache, who served as Miss World T&T for over 18 months and was a key investment for the local franchise, may have been the brunt of other people’s stress release. Further, she conveyed she is “thick skinned” in her video, which suggests that she internalised the abuse as opposed to speaking out when she experienced it. If my hypothesis is correct there are lessons to be learnt from this scenario. Young women entering beauty pageants in TT should be weary of how they are treated while maintaining cordiality. They should speak up the moment they feel uncomfortable and engage the respective official/s for resolution. If discomfort or any form of abuse continues the ideal option should be to exit the venture. Owners of pageant organisations and their team members must be careful to keep delegates content. Do regular checks on the girls to ensure their feelings are positive and intact since many people hide hurt and other negative emotions behind smiles and nodding approvals. Speak to others as you would have them speak to you – tone often trumps content. Apologise when you should and remember that it is better to earn respect through one’s deeds and persona as opposed to one’s authority. DEXTER RIGSBY Mt Lambert The post Ache’s agony, a lesson for pageant hopefuls appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.