Maroc - NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 04/Sep 07:40

Stagnation and self-discovery

Kanisa George HAVE YOU ever noticed that we go through life hell-bent on securing wins? We persevere, weathering mental anguish and difficulty to secure small notches that boost intangibility and fight tooth and nail to attain major goals that carve out our place in society. For most of us, our wins are part of a lifelong mental to-do list that we continuously modify and desperately mull over. Once we remain consistent, success is never too far behind, for there will come a time when distinction will be our reward. But this isn’t always the case. The arduous journey can sometimes demand that we experience life-changing loss and disappointment, and even when you’ve secured greatness, it’s easy to recall periods underscored by dry spells that stretched for miles. Periods of inertia can sometimes be used to exemplify and enhance the human spirit, but without the right attitude and state of mind, it’s easy to veer off course. Further compounded by societal pressure and our internal barometer, it is unsurprising that we reject any form of stasis, even if it’s beneficial in the long run. Truth be told, no one likes to plateau, but what if this state of immobility can be used as a rest stop to recalibrate, re-evaluate and rejuvenate? It may be that in pursuit of the next big thing we must tap into periods of self-growth triggered by self-discovery. There’s a trending quote that emphasises the importance of self-development through self-discovery. We’ve always been taught that we could do anything and be anything, but, sadly, somewhere along the line we started conflating who we are intrinsically with the things we want to achieve. This paradigm can become so potently symbiotic that one could quickly lose a sense of self without the thrill of pursuing dreams or goals. In his piece, How to Achieve Your Aspirations Without Losing Yourself in the Process, writer Michael Schneider highlighted that the idea that happiness is only a few accomplishments away drives us into an obsession. We become so fixated on attaining a milestone as a means to be happy that it becomes our identity. You get married yet have never felt more alone. You get a promotion but, for some reason, feel less respected. Schneider believes that you will always want more when you base happiness on achievements. And this is because we don’t immediately realise that even our accomplishments come with problems. While it is important to have dreams and ambitions, it is equally important to put those aspirations into perspective. And as much as we admonish the slow periods, they are, in many ways, gifts that can bestow upon us freedom, self-awareness and understanding. They present an opportunity for self-discovery. And I don’t mean a journey to discover something new (albeit this can most certainly be revealed). I’m talking about an expedition that allows self-reflection, exploration and growth. A journey that helps you gain a clearer sense of purpose and direction in life. Self-discovery is not a singular process but a multifaceted one that is revisited repeatedly throughout life. It involves an attitude of honesty and introspection that causes one to examine societal expectations, familial influences and personal insecurities to reveal the authentic self beneath. It's not easy to achieve when we’re on the grind and focused on achieving our goals, but it can bear fruit when life seems at a standstill. It’s easy to think, “I have no direction.” “Or I don’t know where life is taking me.” But why stop there? Perhaps what we should be doing is owning the moment and focusing on doing a little digging. Knowing who you are through self-discovery can be a compass that guides life’s decisions and reveals a sense of purpose and authenticity beyond attaining goals. But even when we’ve experienced those moments of freedom, many of us fail to appreciate its power because we are hell-bent on dictating the course of our lives. At the other end of the spectrum, many of us are afraid to search within ourselves because we fear what we’ll find. Before all the niceties have been established, the journey to self-discovery entails a detailed analysis of our desires, fears and vulnerabilities. In essence, it involves breaking down the barriers within yourself to discover your most profound truths and the things that might be ugly and painful to admit. But this gathering exercise can only help to make you a better you. Think about it: you are the only one able to explore all the nooks, crannies and nuances that make you, you. And with that in mind, you owe it to yourself to understand who you are beyond a surface level, because self-discovery is the foundation of personal growth. Without in-depth knowledge of your feelings, abilities or character, your life choices and experiences may never truly exemplify you. Don’t be dismayed if you stumble upon some not-so-endearing traits during your pursuit. We all possess negative features that we’ve allowed to fester for far too long. Just like the positive traits, acknowledge them and consider, “What can I learn from this discovery?” There’s no right or wrong approach, but once the process is defined by the desire to learn and a commitment to growth, you can consider yourself on the right path. One key takeaway from the self-discovery process is one’s ability to classify the discovery. Once you can pinpoint what’s going on in your inner self and how it’s impacting your outer existence, take a moment to reflect on whether it’s serving you and your future self or harming you, and be decisive about how to move forward. Do I let this go? Or do I take this with me to the next phase of my life? Stagnation isn’t a realm we like to exist in, but sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise if we capitalise on it in ways that serve our personal growth. One thing we should never succumb to is prolonged stints of personal inertia, which are a direct result of our inability to discourse with ourselves. The post Stagnation and self-discovery appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.