Maroc - NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 01/Jan 05:57

The things we should not do

Kanisa George DECEMBER 31 is far more than just a day in any given year. It is a moment to bid adieu to a time that will only exist from this point on in our reels, social media posts, and memories. For those privileged enough to welcome it, the last day of the year is an ode to the 360+ days that have held our tears, fears, triumphs, and wins – a piece of our history that now acts as a prelude to our onward journey. It is a day marked by reflection and excitement and, importantly, one in which we chart a new path towards growth and change. One’s desire to start anew often entails projections of what this potentially “new life” would look like against the backdrop of things we want to achieve. For many of us, there is no better way to achieve this than curating a to-do list or, more popularly, a list of New Year’s resolutions that present an opportunity for self-improvement. There are mixed views regarding whether compiling a curated list of things you’d like to achieve is a sustainable or healthy practice. But what I have noticed about New Year’s resolutions is that most embody potential notches authors would like to achieve, with hardly any mention of things one should decidedly steer clear of. That is to say, many New Year’s resolutions stem from what we believe we should do, like eating better or exercising more, as opposed to the things we should work towards stopping. Most people give up on achieving resolutions before they even get to the first quarter mark. The reason for this varies, but it usually comes down to our inability to shift our attitudes around what we’re trying to achieve. Often, we don’t transform our goals into workable, actionable tasks that we can incrementally complete. Achieving any goal you set for yourself calls for a decent amount of dedication, direction, and discretion regarding whether the goal is unrealistic or unattainable. Focusing on curating a “grand to-do list” rather than a sketched-out “not-to-do list” sets us up for some level of failure before we even start. What if we focused, albeit not exclusively, on achieving goals that included a carefully crafted “not to do list?” Some experts devise that setting "not-to-do” lists or anti-resolutions remove the pressure of what we should be doing in the new year by stripping us of unnecessary baggage while creating more significant opportunities to press ahead with new ventures. The theory behind anti-resolutions follows that you’re more likely to succeed if you decide what you’re “not” going to do. “Having a list of things you’re not going to do is easier to achieve,” says Mike Vardy, author of The Front Nine: How to Start the Year You Want Anytime You Want. “If I know what I don’t want to do, it’s easier to live intentionally.” Clamping down on those negative facets that form an integral part of our lives is akin to rewriting the script we base our realities on. This, in turn, makes room for us to affirm and adopt positive habits and attitudes that place us in direct alignment with our goals. “It’s often easier to get rid of baggage holding us back than to try something new or grand. It’s also liberating to remove baggage, for it rids us of the shackles holding us back and gives us a clearer idea of what we want in life.” When we’re laser-focused on eliminating bad habits, we leave more space for the good, says personal development coach Kate Hanley, author of How to Be a Better Person. “Making an anti-resolution list gives you an opportunity to identify some of the ways you’ve been making your own life harder and then use that awareness to stop doing (at least one of) those things,” she says. Newness doesn’t always mean solely focusing on new goals and adventures. In a bid to maintain consistency, new beginnings also implore us to remain open-minded to re-evaluating and restructuring the old one. And recognising that if it no longer serves you as it should, you probably should let it go. As Trevor Lohrbeer opined, the anti-resolutions list is the process of healthy pruning, cutting out habits or attitudes that no longer enrich or add substance to one's life and the destination one’s trying to achieve. There might even be some goal or project you’re holding onto that you might need to release to make room for a new dream to flourish. “When we add more constraints, resolutions, and goals into our lives, without also emphasising our 'not to do' list, we make everything harder to achieve and add stress and hastiness that reduce our quality of life and productivity.” Progress is a slow-moving master that cannot be conquered without a plan of action. Thus, we must always try to be one step ahead. I entreat you to itemise your goals and desires in order of rank and urgency. Set mini targets and deadlines that make them more actionable, and prioritise, taking stock of the things not to do. The post The things we should not do appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.