Maroc - NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 02/Nov 08:24

Show me your flag

This comes as a greater surprise to me than to anyone else, I’m sure. The question of how we identify was something I thought I’d address, say, with the gendered pronouns (he, she, they). Or culture. Or race. Or religion. Those lead to some tortuous discussion, but we’re never short on examples with which to fill the space. Every day something either enraging or hideously stupid turns up and gives ample ammo for a conversation. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with a debate about my identity. Am I first a citizen of TT and then a Caricom citizen? Or is it the other way around? This ambivalence has brought me nothing but grief. And storming out of rooms. The question itself is not pernicious. I generally reject even the concept of labelling, but this one – this one about home and hearth and heart – this one I hold close. Because home is home. “Friends will take you, but they won’t bring you back,” said everyone’s mother of a certain generation. But sometimes you – sometimes – you really want to go somewhere with a dodgy acquaintance. So you lie to your mother, your other friends and yourself, you make sure you have vex money, and off you go. This seldom ends well. So when someone tells me Caricom is not my friend – certainly not the good friend I thought they were – I’m confused. And hurt and angry. Caricom is so close to me they’re essentially family. Family will do good, they will do bad, but they are family. I am not an only child. My concept of the world is filled with other people. I see everything simultaneously through my eyes and theirs. More often than not I don’t know where I end and they begin. It’s messy and murky, but in the end we have shared too much – too much history, too much experience – not to band together. Caricom has not hurt me. Questioning their significance to me hurts. Don’t you know? Don’t you know who we are together? Still, if you’re honest about your friends and family, that includes knowing some hard things. Caricom at its worst is just geography. At its best it is an ideal long in need of more concrete displays of co-operation. As a country we have something of a spoiled-child problem. I’ve been suggesting our motto should be “We have oil and we don’t care” as an alternative to the beloved “God is a Trini” to anyone who’d listen. God is not a Trini. Surely God – someone known for taking the long view – would do better things with the resources we have. We’re sending aid to Jamaica after Melissa beat her to a frazzle. Some people look at the figures – number of people without water or electricity, most affected populations – and come to the remarkable conclusion that it’s not so bad. Tourist areas have been clobbered. The main agricultural area, St Elizabeth, was drowned. They’re not ok. Not to rain on those who have pitched in to help, but as a country, are we doing more than sending a fruit basket and someone to help sweep and mop? Recently, a friend told me she was having problems because of an increase in her cortisol level. “But I’m not worried about anything,” she protested to her doctor. To me she said, “I’m not worried, but you know, Venezuela.” Anxiety and depression need not be scaled up to crisis level for them to have an impact on us. Her anxiety is not a heart-thumping, migraine-inducing thing. It is the slow poison of the news she reads and the rumours she hears. She didn’t realise how much this background noise affected her. According to Patrice Roberts, in her great (but undervalued) 2023 work Anxiety, we’re “stronger together/Ah tell you so much on my mind/That I can’t sleep/Ah stressing all the time.” When my friend takes the time to share what’s bothering her, it’s because she knows we’re stronger together. She (friend, not Patrice) has nothing to say about Caricom, but a great deal about the US presence and the problems of any Trump alignment. She sent me that great quote currently attributed to no one (but usually, incorrectly, to Nelson Mandela): “When two neighbouring countries fight, just know the USA visited one.” When the US has finished using us as a paddling pool and gone home, who will we play with? We just spat at Caricom. Remember to talk to your doctor or therapist if you want to know more about what you read here. In many cases, there’s no single solution or diagnosis to a mental health concern. Many people suffer from more than one condition. The post Show me your flag appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.