Maroc - NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 14/12/2025 11:06

The great cat crisis: felines and fracas

I don’t know what more these cats want of me. Have I not tried to be a good mother? With every breath, who do I think of if not them? I have cared for and petted, loved and allowed my body to become a scratching post. I have been a good provider and think of their safety above all other things. Recently, Little Miss Popular bit me on my nose. Hard. Did I speak harsh words or cast her into an indefinite time-out? No. I pried her from me and politely asked her not to get quite so carried away in the future. (You’d think my opinion of my nose is low enough. I hardly need someone to take up nose-biting to make a point of how dramatic it is.) Because cats are the most important creatures ever to be invented, karma comes swiftly for them. There’s no waiting around to find out how you’re going to be walloped. It came almost immediately for the little one: she bit her own tongue hard enough to cut it. Getting cat-got-your-tongue vibes? This cat is so efficient she got her own. As she recuperates, she has been forced to take refuge in a basket of tea towels. Sometimes she keeps to her room. See, the orange boys smelled blood (probably literally) and, sensing her weakened condition, take turns trying to bully her. When LMP is in good health and fighting fit, they give her ample space. (I believe LMP comes from Wolverine lineage. That girl has claws like medieval devices of torture.) This is an important life lesson for me and any signs I may be showing of aging, exhaustion and loss of mental faculties. Don’t let them smell fear. This is not an extended metaphor for human relationships. I really cannot afford for these hellions to think I’m not on my A-game. The Cats’ Aaji is with us this festive season. As if on cue, a terrible bout of bad behaviour has seized them. In the past half-hour, one has made off with the poor woman’s sandwich and another has threatened her yogurt. Her clothes are being pilfered and hidden. She is denied the privilege of sitting because each cat has claimed a chair and we must conclude that they have grown roots there, because they are immovable. Also, I don’t have a great many chairs. Quite heroically, Aaji has taken to placing herself almost smack in the middle of the boys and LMP. If she senses that a campaign is about to be launched against her granddaughter, she hurls herself in front of the orange army and drives them back with great scolding and waving of hands. The other thing that’s been extremely effective, and for which I imagine I will be eternally grateful, is her ability to keep the marmalade menaces utterly stoned. I have no idea where she gets this stuff, but the catnip she offers the children is stronger than any I’ve ever procured. Sometimes, I take a break from sitting with the sickly girl and make my way out into the general house environs. There I will find, strewn across so many chairs, glazed versions of my sons like so many Beat poets. I’m starting to think I should try a catnip mouse. There are also catnip fish – did I mention the fish? And just for good measure, there are small suspicious packages on shelves and reading nooks. These kids won’t go hungry with a grandmother who has a bright future in high-level narcotics distribution. Just to make sure you’re all caught up and no one is confused by all this cat-drug-bullying talk, here, at the end, a little perspective. As the Christmas crowds and traffic close in on me, I grow more addled and anxious. As the never-ending house move throws up yet more problems, as well as interactions with humans most displeasing to me, I am more nervous, more easily rattled. This is when I need my children to gather round me, offering comforting purrs and their abundant dose of calm. And when not exactly calm, they bring such joy. Oh, now I get it. My cats are my catnip. Remember to talk to your doctor or therapist if you want to know more about what you read here. In many cases, there’s no single solution or diagnosis to a mental health concern. Many people suffer from more than one condition. The post The great cat crisis: felines and fracas appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.