Maroc - NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 03/Aug 06:13

Foreign white woman syndrome

Years ago, I met a young English woman (G) who had come to Tobago alone for two months of self-reflection. She met and befriended an older British female solo traveller (M), and they decided to share accommodation to reduce expenses. On the beach, local men would approach, greet and proposition them. Being older, and enjoying the attention that she probably did not get back home, M surrendered to various suitors. G, in self-reflection mode, respectfully turned away advances, which continued nevertheless. The time came when a man, unable to accept G’s polite lack of interest, broke into her room one night and assaulted her. M, out liming, returned to the accommodation to find G sitting up in bed, frozen in shock. Reports to police were pointless. G’s parents booked her out of Tobago on the next BA flight. M, not so fortunate financially, had to stay until her scheduled departure. She slept with a knife under her pillow and eventually moved to “unknown” accommodation that friends and I found for her. She was terrified to go out, so we took groceries for her...until the day she finally flew home. A white foreigner, harassed by men whenever she goes out alone in Tobago, wrote the following to me about her most recent encounter: “Ah yes, just another day in paradise – stranger at the shop wants to cook for me, Netflix, cuddle (no sex unless I want it – how ‘respectful’). It’s wild how many local predators think foreign women came all this way just for unsolicited intimacy. Happens so often, I should start a loyalty card.” [caption id="attachment_1169902" align="alignnone" width="541"] -[/caption] I decided to ask some “white female foreign” friends about their experiences. One, a regular Tobago visitor from the UK, wrote: “Even now at 67 I get hit on – it usually starts with ‘Where is your husband?’ and progresses from there if I engage. “We are brought up not to be rude or to ignore people, but any engagement invariably gives the wrong signal. I usually pretend I’m in a tearing hurry, but that is difficult if I’m just relaxing on the beach. I usually have to pack up and move on... “I guess I’m kind of used to it now in Tobago. I’d probably describe my feelings as exasperated. If I were younger, I would probably feel threatened. It’s one of the reasons why I prefer Castara as it doesn’t happen often there. Store Bay is the absolute worst! It’s impossible to go down there without getting hassled.” She has seen the power of flattery of the aged and how older white women are sometimes viewed as “tickets out of Tobago,” but admits having seen it work successfully at times, so cannot blame men for “trying.” Another “white foreigner” revealed that the harassment has not diminished over her years living in Tobago with her husband. The following is my transcript of some things she said over the phone: “Up country I don’t find it so bad. Down the other side it’s horrible. Even beaches...Store Bay, Pigeon Point in particular. “Sometimes I don’t even go out because I don’t want to have to deal with it. I don’t go for walks to pass certain men. I try to avoid them. I just want to have a morning walk without instant harassment. I just want to go to the grocery! “I don’t care about their reasoning. It is disrespectful. Where I come from, they don’t do that, so it’s shocking when you come here. They know they are not going to get through but it is almost like a reaction: ‘White woman!’ It’s uncomfortable – every day, sometimes multiple times a day.” She often mentions “my husband” and, when she used to wear a wedding ring, thought it might be a deterrent. “But that didn’t stop them. They would say, ‘But he not here right now.’” Recently, a man harassing her on the beach persisted despite her request to be left alone. She eventually whirled around to scream at him, inadvertently kicked the sand and struck coral, breaking her toe. Her husband, on speakerphone, says: “Tobago and Barbados are known for sex tourism; a lot come looking for ‘something.’ Some look for beach boys seeking a getaway from the small-island small life...” This still does not warrant the harassment of “white” women – or any women. This fascinating yet frustrating topic deserves an entire thesis – or a part two.   The post Foreign white woman syndrome appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.