Maroc - NEWSDAY.CO.TT - A la Une - 09/Dec 06:40

Getting gift-giving right

Debbie Jacob IF YOU doubt the old saying, “Giving is better than receiving,” you haven’t mastered the fine art of Christmas gift-giving. Christmas offers the chance to make someone remember the holiday forever, or to fail miserably and make people feel guilty and ungrateful for not liking the presents they receive. Contrary to what you might think, it’s not the thought that counts if the gifts you buy only please you. Gifts can only be appreciated if they are meaningful to the receiver, and author Beth Kempton writes about how to make that happen in her book Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A Little Book of Festive Joy. Kempton says gifts should be mindful, meaningful and memorable. Mindful gifts connect to the recipient’s experiences; meaningful gifts connect to the recipient’s values and memorable ones are so special they can’t be forgotten. If you get gift-giving right, your gifts are appreciated emotionally and financially. Studies show that people who receive unwanted gifts always feel the gift giver spent far less than the actual price paid. Christmas can be a real learning experience. Finding the perfect Christmas gift requires imagination, creativity, communication and empathy. Gifts should also be affordable. It’s important to set a realistic Christmas budget long before the holiday and then stick to it. Christmas should also challenge us to reach beyond giving gifts to family and friends by including some meaningful community service. My daughter, Ijanaya, always had innovative gift-giving ideas. One year she asked everyone who wanted to buy her a gift to donate the money to a charity of her choice. Another Christmas we trimmed our list of friends – which is always possible to do – and gave a dinner and a movie ticket to the gas station attendant who always spoke to us about movies he wanted to see. She made small food packages with items from our neighbourhood bakery. Volunteering at Christmas through your church or with an NGO brings added meaning to the holiday, and this often costs nothing but your time. Donations are always welcome too. The real challenge to create a meaningful Christmas starts at home with your children. Gift-giving becomes even more special if it is a family affair. Family-cherished Christmas cookie, cake or candy recipes can become an enjoyable gift, especially if they’re presented on a special serving plate or in a canister that can be used after the holidays. My mom mastered the fine art of baking gifts by turning her German recipes for sugar cookies, rum and pecan balls into an elegant display presented on a crystal cake plate for my brothers’ teachers and mine every year. She wrapped the plated cookies in transparent cellophane – not an environmentally-conscious choice today. Again, this is only meaningful, mindful and memorable if you can think of people who would appreciate this gift. Matching a handmade gift to the right person can be unbelievably fulfilling. For many years, I bought pieces of flannel cloth and crocheted around the edges to make baby blankets for pregnant friends and colleagues. They became comfort blankets that children still used when they were ten. Finding the perfect gift means honing communication skills. It takes some detective work. Asking the right questions should give you information in identifying meaningful gifts. These conversations and that search for perfect gifts should take place long before Christmas to reduce the stress and inconvenience of that last-minute Christmas rush. One year I had most of my Christmas shopping done by July. I felt organised and stress-free. It extended the joy of Christmas rather than making me feel flustered from last-minute shopping. Christmas is a good time to instil invaluable lessons about budgeting and empathy in children. You can help them have a merrier Christmas now and in the future by showing the benefits of planning meaningful gift-giving. How can children have conversations with their friends and family members to identify the perfect gift? What are creative and kind ways to keep children’s gift-giving lists manageable? How can children find the perfect gift for their teachers? Turn Christmas into a fun maths lesson long before the holiday by working on their Christmas budget and ways to save towards that goal during the year. Explore how to involve children in compassionate and meaningful holiday community service. These are ideas that make a merry Christmas merrier or transform the pattern of sadness many people feel at Christmas into a happy, fulfilling time of year. Christmas is a holiday we can always make more meaningful. The post Getting gift-giving right appeared first on Trinidad and Tobago Newsday.